Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
i want to live in the red/pink states
all the same programming as the right-blue, only two hours earlier, PLUS they only delay most eastern-time-zone-specific shows (ex. tonight show @ 11:30) on the west coast, so the tonight show at 11:30 becomes the somewhat-earlier-tonight show at 9:30!

would you like to know under what circumstance i would feel dumb? if i were wrong about everything i just said

to the makers of this map: you could only choose three colors? no, hey, it's cool. left-blue and right-blue totally make sense. we're fine; you're fine. i'm sorry.

i break my OWN rules

i have this inner guide that is uncomfortable with a lot of situations. it tells me, hey ryan, you shouldn't do [event] or go to [place], you'll feel uncomfortable and you won't have fun. now, let's discuss both sides of a hypothetical situation: if i listen to this voice, i'm going to be comfortable and i'm going to do the things i know like to do; however, if i don't listen to this voice, i'm going to feel uncomfortable, but there's no guarantee that i'm going to feel that way the whole time. there's a good chance that the initial jitters will wear off quickly and i'll end up enjoying myself. i'll also be able to say that i overcame my tendency to turn my back on the unknown, and i'll be one step closer to becoming a great pirate. this inner guide is actually a good source of things to do; it's like a reverse bucket list. if i do all the things i don't want to do, turning around and tackling those that i look forward to won't seem so daunting. huzzAH

i'm human too

i over-think just about everything
sometimes i think i'm mildly autistic; i tend to rock back and forth, and when i have a lot of energy and am comfortable with my self i make loud noises
i get cranky if i don't eat or drink something or if it's hot or if i'm with people who i don't want to be around
i have a freckle on the inside of my left-hand middle finger, please don't stare
i don't like almost all the people i see on the antiques roadshow
i notice how you use your and you're and the the[i][y']r[e]s
i can't finish a lot of things
if i do something once and it doesn't work i'm not very likely to try it again
i try to always think in the big picture, which sometimes can be detrimental
i'm often glad that i'm not like certain types of people
my body has an annoyingly high tolerance for caffeine
i can't hold a grudge against anybody who does something to me, but if they do something to someone close to me i usually have no trouble disliking them
i want to know what i could accomplish with just me and my thoughts, sense-blind and alone, for 500 years
i pay attention to intonation and inflection
i like when people are themselves

i would like to share all of my brain-thoughts with one someone
i taught a caterpillar how to live today

i decided to switch my summer plans up a bit. instead of doing the immersion program in arabic, i'll now be spending those four weeks in vermont speaking spanish because, as i've come to realize, immersion in a language that i have yet to speak kind of defeats the purpose. instead, i plan on becoming conversant in spanish (which i'll be able to utilize when i go to spain next spring) and then taking separate language courses sometime else.
apparently the iphone has terrible formatting techniques for blogging via email

i applied for an arabic immersion program provided by middlebury yesterday, should be sweet if i get in. the only downside is a month out of my summer in rural vermont

i wonder

it's inevitable that, as one ages, certain situations or periods in life are missed. but this 'miss' isn't the same miss that one has for a lost item; no, this is a morbid longing. this is what one feels when they lose someone close to them. it's the helplessly fond memories one has.
recognizing this, wouldn't it make sense if people tried to relish the present if they're in a period that they know they're going to miss?

this thought process makes me miss right now, and value right now.

as i was writing this i switched from english to spanish mid-sentence and didn't realize it. freakin' sweet, man.
april vacation: driving to minnesota and back
trip total = approx. 3000 miles
lots of free time in a confined space

line up of books to read:
gravity's rainbow (partially read, need to finish) by thomas pynchon
gorgias by plato
canterbury tales by chaucer
the prince by machiavelli
harry potter y la piedra filosofal (partially read) by jkr
the threat: inside the soviet military machine by andrew cockburn

i'm not sure how much i'll be able to get through
i like road trips though

waiting for summer

apparently, i've always wanted to be a pirate

In Buckminster Fuller's Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth, he talks about how there used to be Great Pirates who specialized in everything. In other words, they were masters of every field of their time. These Great Pirates began on land, but realized that they could make a greater profit at sea (where only the smartest and bravest had dared to venture(thus, only the Great Pirates)), so they hired the burliest dumby-heads they could find (who would be completely loyal). Because they're loyal, they're not inclined to question orders or mutiny. They'll also do things like beat and kidnap local bar-goers for new shipmates and fight for your life while you run away. In any case, these Great Pirates were more knowledgable than their peers, and they capitalized on their advantage.

As the global population rose, there was more opportunity for profit on land, so some of the Great Pirates stayed there. These Great Pirates, at sea, had to be masters of many things: astronomy, mathematics, carpentry, logic, and wit, to name a few. On land, the number of mastered topics remained roughly the same while the topics started to vary into other, less vital skills. These Great Pirates of the land tended to be masters of the arts, or inventors, or anatomicists, or physicists. These included people like Michaelangelo, da Vinci, and Benjamin Franklin. They knew a lot of subjects and they knew a lot about them.

Then came WWI. With the advent of the first world war, warfare changed from the tangible swords and spears to the 'visible only after it kills you' to the electronic or chemical warfare, that may never be physically seen. This led to specialization. People were needed to be experts of various fields in order for their country to have an edge over the opposition. With so many fractal-esque branchings of knowledge, it became nearly impossible for someone to invent anything revolutionary while painting for the Vatican and sculpting the iconic figures of our time.

One might argue, "Our times have changed, everything's digital now". If that's so, that only proves Buckminster's point; there is even specialization of the specialized--ergo, computer specialists to the computer. Only someone who knows how to use Photoshop can make a decent image of our idols, only someone who knows how to use three-dimensional imaging software can render a digital sculpture of them, and only someone who knows the language of programming can write the scripts that run Photoshop and that 3D imaging software. You might know someone (or be someone) who has dedicated countless hours to the perfection of such tasks. That's great, but that doesn't make him or her or you a Great Pirate. Tell them to write a book; a book on something other than computer software or programming. Luckily, they wouldn't need to be a statistician to tell you that the chances of that book reaching the NY Times Best-Seller List are slim to none. Even if it is a Pulitzer-worthy tome, however, they would doubtfully be able to build a ship strong enough to sail the seven seas.

But, after all that, I realize that I've always wanted to be that person who can specialize in everything and know all the ins and outs of each aspect of our world. Which, logically, brings me to the conclusion that I've always wanted to be a pirate, I just didn't know it.

big fat liar is the greatest movie ever

I think I'd rather go through life having a good time and learning about things I want to learn about (let's be honest, if you say "i dont wanna learn nuffin" or are averse to learning then you're averse to living because that's all life is; if you don't learn you become a robot, programmed to do the same thing without question). I don't want to be someone who's hesitant to do something because they might get a bad grade or they won't get into a prestigious program that's really not that special in the big picture. If I do become that person that works and works and works to get to the top, once I get there I'll regret wasting all that time working, and not living. If I just blow off all committments for the sake of a good time, I'll regret not having valued the resources that I've been given. It's like being on both sides of a see-saw with an unpredictable center of gravity.

The title has nothing to do with this and needs no explanation.

People make weird noises when they yawn. And by people, I mean me.
i can hear advice countless times and not adhere to it
only if i figure it out for myself will it mean anything to me

recently:
take what you have and use it thankfully
what you want will come when you're ready for it

i changed my keyboard to spanish
áíéóúñ shit's simple

dog

i can't stand being around the same people for a long period of time

i can't wait for college

um

if i were to cross two animals they would be the giraffe and the elephant.
it would be the gelephant, and it would be made out of tinker toys.

fuck

I can't commit myself to anything. All I want to do is sit in my room and read or watch movies all day. I think I'll be a recluse when I get older. I keep getting asked where I want to go to college, which I have no answer to. If I went overseas and studied linguistics, would I have to learn a marginally different syntax per country I study in? I don't get how people can want to be a doctor or lawyer from a young age and keep that aspiration throughout their decision-making years. Who wants to diagnose sicknesses or argue on the behalf of a stranger? I want to do something fulfilling. I could just be selfish, but why spend a life focused on monotony and money? Don't listen to me though, I'll eventually need to get medication or plead my case in court.

I had a dream last night in which I was dead, and looked back at how much I didn't have a chance to do. Scary shit.

I don't know why I'm capitalizing all of a sudden.

dreams

my parents just laughed when i told them about my hot-air balloon aspirations. they think i'm kidding.
i'm not kidding. i just need to contact the f.a.a.

i hate tittles

i have a feeling that i'll be that dad who gives his kid ridiculous names. not like apple or closet, but like czop or džaqyp.
it'll start out as a way to be different; it'll end with my kid out $500.00-$2,000.00 in legal fees.

help

i have decided to follow my dreams and become a hot air balloon racer.
i have no idea where to start.