this whole life that society expects me to live is bullshit. i'm not trying to be countercultural or philosophical, but when i think down to the root of it, it's impossible for me to be able to maximize my life through the cyclical nature that our society so blindly proposes. and what am i going to do about it? what the fuck am i, a relatively insignificant human being, going to do about it? nothing. i expect that i'll finish my third round of sequential education and proceed to my fourth. after that, i'll either get a steady job or i'll push my education onto the next valence level. that's the best way i can describe it; bohr's model. you, society, did this to me, and i thank you with the sincerest hint of melancholy. insert cliches here.

i feel like the state of my physical health is helplessly declining, but not at an alarming rate

i think i'll be insane when i'm old